When I visit a congregation that is preparing for a clergy transition I tell them that although they will breathe a sigh of relief when the new clergy person arrives, the transition will not be over until they and the new priest have lived together through one full liturgical year or longer. I don’t think people believe me. However, the most challenging time of a clergy transition is after the new priest arrives. Unfortunately it is not unusual, and almost predictable, that within 6-8 months of arrival I will get a call from a warden, vestry member, or other “concerned” individual with the news that their new priest is not a good fit or is behaving badly and not a good priest. Usually by the time I receive a phone call a system of negativity is already set up that escalates into unhelpful and even debilitating conflict.Remember that our clergy leaders are on the same page as lay leaders in our congregations. Everyone wants to further the mission of the church.
Everyone wants congenial relationships within the community and community growth. Everyone wants what is right for the good of the Church. The Church invests heavily in our clergy leadership and we depend on them to be capable pastors. There is a long and careful discernment, formation, and evaluation process prior to ordination. I believe our parish search committees engage in a prayerful, cautious and diligent search process. Both the Bishop and I are committed to making careful inquiries to our colleagues in other dioceses regarding candidates. All of this work is done in anticipation and preparation for calling capable and well-qualified clergy to pastor and lead our congregations. But when they arrive trouble soon begins.
Relationships are at the heart of our congregational conflict. Sometimes the congregation is still attached emotionally to the previous pastor and the way things have been done. It would be wise to remember that the previous pastor, in most instances, chose to leave the congregation and move on to other things. The congregation should be willing to let go and move on too. However, new clergy should realize that they are always in a relationship with the previous pastor even if they never see or speak with that individual. I believe some of the conflict parishes experience is associated with the gate keeping of the congregation – Who gets information? (Do you hear the phrase “everybody knows that…?”) How do people know about parish traditions? Who makes decisions? This has a wider effect too on congregational development, because to the degree a congregation is able to welcome and assimilate a new pastor is pretty much the same degree they will be able to welcome other new comers.
I also think that some of the conflict relates to our lack of understanding of our own polity. Episcopal clergy do not work for the vestry, but with the vestry on behalf of the Bishop. The canons instruct us that Rectors and Priests-in-Charge have full authority and responsibility for not only the worship but for the spiritual jurisdiction of the parish. For a Christian that is pretty much every bit of our lives. It seems to me that a prudent pastor would want to know about and have a say in the direction of all ministries and programs of a parish, working with the vestry to understand community values, set priorities, determine resources, and practice good stewardship and accountability to one another and the community.
So, what’s the good news? The good news is that the conflict we experience in new clergy relationships is normal. It is part of the transformation from pseudo-community (where we’re all nice to one another like a veneer over our true selves) to authentic community where we accept one another for who we are and learn to work together to further the Kingdom of God. Theologian Richard Neuhaus commented, “Real community is not homogeneity. It is the discipline and devotion of disparate people bearing with one another – the hard tasks of love.”
A change in clergy leadership is like moving the dial on a kaleidoscope. The patterns of colored beads change and you can never go back to the previous patterns, only new patterns emerge. Healthy congregations live into new patterns of ministry. How can you be helpful? If you are the clergy person listen and teach, and ask questions to discover the traditions of your new community. As lay people instead of complaining to others about your new priest, go to the new priest and say help me understand why… When someone complains to you about the new priest, don’t feel responsible for that individual’s discomfort, rather encourage that person to go to the new priest. If you are unhappy do not go to others to create an Unhappiness List to present to the priest; it is not helpful. Healthy congregations treat the conflict as normal and assume it will work out in time; they are forgiving and generous. They are not anxious. They recognize that a new clergy person will have different ways of organizing and practicing ministry and they make space and celebrate. Healthy congregations focus on mission strengths and not on congregational or clerical personality. Healthy congregations let their leader lead.
Canon Spaid has worked for the Diocese since January 2003. .
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