Stuck vs. Unstuck Congregations

I had the good fortune to be a student of Edwin H. Friedman, a rabbi whose work in congregational leadership influenced me almost as much as Jesus (also a rabbi). His books are focused on leaders developing three main areas of themselves: self-differentiation, being non-anxious and being present with those you are leading.

I was reviewing my notes from one of his classes, which have become brown around the edges, and came across something I had transcribed: “A church is stuck when it keeps recycling the same unquestioned answers.”

This really does bear up to my experience working with congregations and clergy across the diocese.

When a church keeps saying the same thing over and over again, rehashing the same issues, it is a “stuck church.”

No amount of thinking, rationalizing or discussing will change that dynamic. The answers to the problems are not found in anyone’s rationale, no matter how well-intentioned.

What can move a congregation forward? How can it become un-stuck?

Adventure.

It’s the kind of adventure that takes the form of a mission or a ministry, helping the congregation move beyond itself. It’s something that everyone can get excited about and focus upon.

For example, in my days as a priest, I heard of a parish once that had been vibrant decades before but had declined to nine families. But when it stumbled across an opportunity to provide an after-school program to middle school kids who had been abused and neglected, it found a revitalizing ministry. Ironically, the parish originally was built with an orphanage attached to it called “The Home for Friendless Girls” (tragically true) that had closed decades before. In stumbling across this new ministry of helping abused, neglected and unwanted kids, the parish happened upon its founding adventure. The parish had energy again. That’s what got them unstuck. What had worked in the parish’s inception worked again.

Peter Steinke asks, in his book Healthy Congregations, some questions worth considering, “How many congregations believe they are in the ‘we exist for ourselves’ business rather than ‘we are in mission to the community, even the world’ business?” He goes on to say in his next book Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, “Congregations can benefit from their steady flow of positive programs, ministerial acts, and supportive gatherings. People can draw from their positive emotional investments as a resource to move past the pressing moment.”

When a congregation finds its adventure – and it’s not the same for every congregation – then it becomes un-stuck.

How does a congregation find its adventure?

It comes from someone in the congregation who is able to think differently, someone who isn’t drawn into rehashing the same problems over and over.

I’m happy to say that we have many un-stuck congregations in our diocese. They have discovered the importance of adventure in ministry and mission.

They also have a sense of humor. When I observe the behavior in healthy congregations, people are playful with one another. They exhibit an absence of anxiety. It’s a wonderful thing to see because in the presence of anxiety, people get really serious. When people are free to dream, when they are able to focus on matters besides their church’s problems, they are free to have a good time together.

The un-stuck churches in our diocese are soaring. The stuck churches can’t move forward and their mission work in the outside world is very minimal.

Is your community of faith stuck, continually recycling the same old stuff? Or is it soaring, energized by adventure in mission and ministry? The kingdom of God needs high-flyers, able to see beyond themselves. I think both rabbis would agree on that.